Saturday, July 5, 2014

Take the quiz!

Let us journey to another place and time. To Heroic Greece where the countryside is lush and fragrant and the cities golden and bustling; where life is rich and sensuous, and no one is a vegetarian.

Imagine you are an immortal nymph, and live with your handmaids, who are younger, less experienced nymphs.

Answer each multi-choice question by writing the letter of the answer you choose  (A, B, C, D or E) on a piece of paper.

1. How were you born ?

A.    A band of nymphs desperately wanted to raise a child. One evening they sat round their campfire discussing this, when they noticed a log changing shape in the flames. They quenched the fire, and instead of embers was left a healthy, laughing, gurgling baby - you!

B.    You were laid in a giant thick-shelled egg by a dragon and smashed your way out with a battle-axe.

C.    Your mother, a great voluptuous Giant, spent all summer partying. The joy got so much for her that she let out a huge burp and expelled you through her mouth onto the beach.

D.    You began as nothing more than a disembodied pair of hands and lips. With clay you made a body for yourself and with your lips, breathed life into yourself.

E.    In a stream running through a quiet forest grew a single water lily. When its petals opened, you were in the centre.

2. Choose where you will live:

A.    In a community of good people in which you are respected and have many friends.

B.    On the clear summit of a mountain from where you see the world spread beneath you     for miles.

C.    In a crystal palace with eiderdown sofas; wine, milk, juice, and scented water on tap; and hundreds of invisible servants who attend to your every need.

D.    In a community of artists and craftspeople, built round a flowing wellspring of inspiration.

E.     Alone in a grotto on your own small island.

3. What do you like to wear?

A.     A versatile white tunic - so you fit in anywhere.

B.     A shining helmet, with a sword and shield at your side.

C.     Fragrant oils and silken veils that dance across your skin.

D.     All sorts of colourful exciting robes designed and woven by yourself.

E.     Any old robe, so long as it's practical and comfortable.

4. How do you like to travel?

A.    Hitching rides on passing chariots, swans and winged horses. (You always meet such interesting characters.)

B.    By winged sandal.

C.     On a sleek black panther.

D.    In a state-of-the-art chariot, designed and built by yourself.

E.    Disguised as a small cloud drifting above the world.

5. Choose one of these birds to be your familiar:

A.    Penguin.

B.    Eagle.

C.    Swan.

D.    Nightingale.

E.    Owl.

6. What would you most like to do tonight?

A.    Put a boar on the spit and invite your friends for a feast.

B.    Sit in your temple and oversee your worshippers making sacrifices to you.

C.    Anoint yourself with scented oils and spend time with a lover.

D.    Gather herbs and make magic.

E.    Curl up in bed with a good parchment.

7. By parthenogenesis, you become pregnant. What do you give birth to?

A.    A friendly, many-headed child able to hold conversations with itself and laugh at its own jokes.

B.    A powerful hurricane wind that you can travel on or send anywhere you like.

C.    A big voluptuous mouth, which licks and kisses everything in sight, is insatiably hungry, and laughs like a drain.

D.    A silver dragon who breathes many coloured flames, plays the lyre and recites original poetry.

E.    A gentle snake who licks your ear and whispers secrets to you in your sleep.

8. A group of sailors are shipwrecked on your beach. What is the FIRST thing you do?

A.    Invite them to stay with you for a while. It'll be fun to have the company and hear about their adventures.

B.    Set them to digging your vegetable garden and doing housework.

C.    Turn them into pigs for future dinners. Mmm. They'll be delicious!

D.    Invite them to join the boat-building class you teach.

E.    Hope that they don't want to stay too long; you enjoy your privacy.

9. A favourite handmaid is leaving your employ to travel. You are sad to see her go, but wish her all the best. What do you give her as a parting gift?

A.    A cornucopia - a magical goat's horn which will never be empty of good things for her, and other hungry travellers she meets, to eat.

B.    A magical returning arrow, which will bring back anything or anyone she shoots it at.

C.    An enchanted sheep's fleece which will keep her cool in summer, warm in winter, give her beautiful dreams when she sleeps on it, and act as a powerful aphrodisiac when she invites someone else to sit on it with her.

D.    A magical staff which, when held by her, will give her poetic inspiration, storytelling skills, and the powers of persuasive speech.

E.    A cloak of invisibility so she can get out of trouble without fighting and go anywhere without being seen or causing a disturbance.

10. You are interviewing nymphs for the handmaid vacancy. Who do you choose?

A.    Philia - generous and compassionate, she will be a lifelong friend.

B.    Bebaia - physically powerful, but not too bright, she will do whatever you ask and follow you in and out of danger without fear.

C.    Gelasine - carefree, fun loving, bohemian, wants to enjoy life to the full.

D.    Technike - an industrious craftworker who will make a good assistant for you in your creative ventures.

E.    Eirene - quiet and gentle, spreads harmony wherever she goes.

11. While walking in the forest you come across a young girl dying of a snakebite. You take pity on her and turn her into a constellation. Which do you choose?

A.    Melissa - the bee.

B.    Stephane - the crown.

C.    Ampelos - the grape vine.

D.    Krene - the fountain.

E.    Kokhle - the seashell.

12. A Giant has been sexually harrassing your handmaids. What do you do?

A.    Call your handmaids together to decide on a fitting punishment collectively.

B.    Send him a tireless eagle which will chase him for eternity, pecking at his genitals.

C.    Bind him with magic string and take him home as a plaything for your handmaids.

D.    Turn him into a bronze statue, decorate him, and exhibit him in your garden.

E.    Send your handmaids to a self-defence course.

13. What ancient mortal woman do you take as a disciple?

A.    Nausicaa - popular gregarious princess of the Phaiakians.

B.    Atalante - swift as the wind, strong as a bear, brave as a lion.

C.    Helen of Troy - Sexy, manipulative, an expert in narcotics.

D.    Penelope - a master weaver.

E.    Hypatia - a great mathematician.

14. If you could look into the future at great mortal women, who would you take as your disciple?

A.    Mother Theresa.

B.    Amanda Palmer.

C.    Anais Nin.

D.    Hildegarde Von Bingen.

E.    Simone de Beauvoir.

15. How do you spend a long weekend?

A.    You take your band of nymphs to visit the Amazon community, where you have many friends to stay with, and spend the weekend talking, feasting, and watching chariot racing.

B.    You travel to the Underworld to buy one of Persephone's famous ferocious three-headed hounds for a companion and watchdog.

C.    You holiday on the tropical island of the Lotus Eaters, where everyone lives on delicious lotus flowers that bring feelings of joy and wellbeing.

D.    You journey into the volcanic depths of Mt Aetna to visit the forge of Athene (Patron Gooddess of crafts) to swap skills and ideas.

E.    You go to your special place, which no one knows about but you: a forest pool with powers of healing and renewal.

And your Guardian Gooddess is . . . ?

This is the exciting part. Count up how many of each letter you chose, and use the charts below to find out who is your Guardian Gooddess.  Start with the first chart, and read each one till you come to the one that describes your pattern of letters exactly.

 Then - click on the Gooddess's name to begin a journey of self-discovery.

If  you  have  7  or  more  of  the  same  letter  and  3  or  less  of  each  of  the  other  letters, you  are  ruled  by  a  TYPE  1  Gooddess:

Mostly As:    Demeter
Mostly Bs:    Artemis
Mostly Cs:    Aphrodite
Mostly Ds:    Mnemosyne
Mostly Es:    Echo

If  you  have  4  or  more  of  2  of  the  letters, and  2  or  less  of  each  of  the  other  letters, you  are  ruled  by  a  TYPE  2  Gooddess:

Mostly As and Bs:    Hera                   
Mostly As and Cs:    Baubo
Mostly As and Ds:    Anchiale
Mostly As and Es:    Hestia
Mostly Bs and Cs:    Omphale
Mostly Bs and Ds:    Daphne
Mostly Bs and Es:    Persephone
Mostly Cs and Ds:    Pasiphae
Mostly Cs and Es:    Hebe
Mostly Ds and Es:    Arachne

If  you  have  3  or  more  of  each  of  3  of  the  letters, and  2  or  less  of  each  of  the  other  letters, you  are  ruled  by  a  TYPE  3  Gooddess:

Mostly As , Bs and Cs:        Tethys
Mostly As , Bs and Ds:        Asterie
Mostly As , Bs and Es:        Nemesis
Mostly As , Cs and Ds:        Thaleia
Mostly As , Cs and Es:        Echidna
Mostly As , Ds and Es:        Iris
Mostly Bs , Cs and Ds:        Eos
Mostly Bs , Cs and Es:        Psyche
Mostly Bs , Ds and Es:        Medea
Mostly Cs , Ds and Es:        Kalypso

If  you  have  3  or  more  of  each  of  4  of  the  letters, and  2  or  less  of the  other  letter, you  are  ruled  by  a  TYPE  4  Gooddess:

Mostly As, Bs, Cs and Ds:    Kirke
Mostly As, Bs, Cs and Es:    Selene
Mostly As, Bs, Ds and Es:    Athene
Mostly As, Cs, Ds and Es:   Ino/Leucotheia
Mostly Bs, Cs, Ds and Es:    Maia

If  you  have  two  or  more  of  each  of  the  five  letters, and  do  not  fit any  of  the  other  types, you  are  ruled  by  a  TYPE  5  Gooddess:

A mixture of As, Bs, Cs, Ds and Es    Hekate

Now you have established your Guardian Gooddess, you are ready to set out on your first journey into the mysterious and wonderful world of the Gooddesses . . .